How to not forfeit your identity working with a business coach
There’s a better way to get support
Trusting something or someone new can be so hard. Trusting yourself is even harder sometimes.
I’ve hired and worked long term with 3 coaches in the last five years, 2 who helped me do those things that were THE BEST actions for me to take in my business, and one who only wanted me to do things her way…..exactly.
Yeh, no thanks.
Needless to say, that latter relationship left a few scars for me to overcome in my experience of being supported by another and, I’m glad to say, that 1st relationship didn’t last long.
I had to lean in hard to trust the other 2 coaches I hired and thankfully, it stood we well.
Now don’t get me wrong. It’s not outright a bad thing when someone shows you what worked for them.
But if they insist that the ONLY way for you to have any type of success will be to follow their actions exactly, without allowing for who you are to flavour the mix, you’re stymied.
The “fool-proof” method that worked for that first coach, I found out, wasn’t what I experienced. And that was on me believing her hype.
What I know now is that leading by example is good but not by forfeit of my own identity.
If you ever have the opportunity to work with a coach, even though you might both be coaches or designers or healers or writers, the work you do and how you do it is vastly different.
And it’s obvious, right? Because you are 2 different people, who bring different life experiences to the game.
One of my jobs as a mindset coach is to find out how YOU tick and use that to help you uplevel in your business by growing more fully into you.
What does this mean? I continually ask questions to find out….
▸ What lights you up?
▸ What makes you cry?
▸ What gets your goat?
▸ What scares you?
▸ What brings in utter & complete JOY?
In order to be sure you’re always working toward your highest and best self, doing the work that takes you to your edges, I need not put myself or how I want you to act into the equation.
The work that reveals the underneath layers of yourself you don’t allow to surface for fear of judgement or rejection of lack of self-confidence
How I operate, as a mindset coach and a woman in business come from my own inner journey, my own self-discovery process.
That’s not what those I work with come to me or any other coach for…to find out how to be a clone of us.
(that might be cool for some and more than okay to those who think way too highly of themselves but it sounds a bit squirrelly to me. Bleh!).
What worked for me to help me come out of my own shell was to go on my own self-discovery journey to find out about the things that I was holding back on, and answer many more questions than just those above.
Self-discovery is THE one thing you and I will have in common.
And goodness is it ever a beautiful and mind-blowing process that unfolds.
Because it is most definitely about trusting YOUR self. It’s about trusting the path that is unfolding in front of you and getting clear on your purpose.
Your coach is only the guide to help you get there.
This trusting thing is so much about learning to follow your breadcrumbs.
The ones you left through your life experiences and your new thought patterns and the trail of becoming you that are walking. These are your breadcrumbs.
Your job will be to follow them, to find out what they mean for you, and to you as they are revealed, one step, one layer at a time.
It’s time to be a detective, one that deciphers the internal messages you keep getting but….
— maybe you’ve ignored them.
— or are scared to face them.
— or they seem like they’re meant for someone else.
This is where learning to trust yourself comes in. Building that trust muscle is a necessary component in your self-discovery process ~ Soul Nudger
It allows you to start exploring the realm of possibilities instead of limiting and restricting yourself to only what you think you can do…a path set in place by what you learned or from others along the way.
It allows you to release that which does not serve you anymore.
It was good for the person you were once, the one that existed before now to help you remain safe and secure — but that’s not what you need for your now, who you are becoming.
Trusting also means letting the Universe take the reins when the thing you’re about to do doesn’t make sense to your logical brain.
The time is now to trust that your heart, your inner wisdom, knows your next steps.
Trust that you know what you need.
Start from there.
